“With All The Messes I Get Myself Into, I Don’t Need False Advertising”

540586_3432927338103_1688275722_nDear Gentle Leader Company,

For future training videos, would you please use REAL dogs? Real, as in, never seen a Gentle Leader in their lives. This would help give dog owners a better idea what they’re up against.  Allow me to start at the beginning…when I opened the box. I paid $20 for what appeared to be a “some assembly required” g-string. Yeah, I admit I eventually had to read the directions. “Offer a treat to encourage your dog to put his muzzle through the loop.” HA. HA. HA. Freakin’. HA. Apparently Otto isn’t as dumb as I thought he was. He knew from the start something was fishy about this contraption. I’d hold the treat on MY side of the loop, he’d stare at me with his head cocked, then push the loop out if his way with his nose. He was so proud of himself for figuring out THIS trick, I just had to give him the treat. After a 20 minute rodeo in our living room (and a wee bit o cussing) I finally had him hog tied. Truly there’s no other way to accurately describe the experience. He was pissed. He tossed his head to and fro maniacally for another 10 minutes as I chased after the end I needed to attach to the leash. Which is a metal ring. Which hurts like hell when swinging off the chin of an insane psycho dog. Finally, I pry the murderous end out of Otto’s mouth. Clearly he’s figured out if he eats this contraption, it will be rendered useless. Click, snap, thrash…we’re ready to hit the street as a well-mannered dog and owner. HA. HA. HA. Freakin’. HA. For three quarters of a block, my dog looked like a champion bull. Bucking. Snorting. Drooling profusely. Okay, a RABID, champion bull. Now don’t think on the final leg of the block he was a vision of restraint and proper behavior. Oh no. He was a big, drooly, sweaty, exhausted mess (who had nearly dislocated my shoulder 73 times). We’re home. Neither of us looks the best we’ve ever looked; but we’re going to sleep well tonight. Gentle Leader, your name is misleading (no pun intended) and your marketing should be geared more towards insomniacs…or cowboys…or strippers.

Sincerely,  Amy & Otto

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