When you make the decision to have children, you think about things such as, “Who’s going to be my daycare provider?”, “Which pediatrician is the best?”, “What theme should we have for the nursery?”  What you DON’T give consideration to is all the strange things your children are going to say throughout their lives.

This morning, for example, Max says, “Hey, Mom!  I cleaned my room!  Did you see?  Welllllll…just look from the door, cause once you walk in too far it smells like a dog turd.  That’s because one of my fish is dead.”

Forehead smack.  “Why don’t you take that poor fish out and give him a proper flushing?”

“No, Mom, we can’t!  The other fish are eating him.  He must be a tasty snack.”

Kids are gross.  Fish burial will be in 5 minutes.